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Teaching children how to be safe

April 17, 2025
Tips for Talking to Children About Strangers

Although stranger abduction (where a stranger takes a child intending to keep or harm him/her) is rare, it is important to talk to your child about strangers. Often children do not have a clear understanding of who is a stranger or what to do in a potentially dangerous situation. Use these tips to help guide your discussion.

  1. Make clear that a stranger is anyone your child doesn’t know well. It’s common for children to think that strangers look mean and scary. Explain that no one can tell whether a stranger is nice or safe just by looking at him/her, and children should be careful around all strangers.

  2. Point out adults your child can trust. This will help your child better understand the stranger concept and know who to go to if your child needs help.

  3. Provide your child with basic rules on keeping safe:

    • When you are by yourself, you are responsible for keeping safe.
    • Check first with a trusted adult before going anywhere or taking anything from someone you don’t know well.
    • Safe grown-ups don’t ask children for help.
    • Know the full name and phone number of one of your parents or caregivers. Know your home address.
    • “911” is the number to call when there’s an emergency.
  4. Have your child practice saying, “No!” to going with a stranger or taking something from a stranger by playing the “What If …” Game and doing role plays. Some scenarios you could discuss are:

    • A nice-looking stranger in the park asks your child to come see new puppies.
    • Someone who knows your name and your child’s name, but is not someone your child knows well, offers your child a ride home from school.
    • Your child is walking home alone, and a stranger pulls over to ask for directions.
    • Teach your child to trust his/her instincts and be assertive with strangers. It’s okay to say, “No!” to adults and is better to be safe than polite.
  5. If your child asks, “What if they get me anyway?”: Talk about your child’s feelings; Reassure your child that he/she is safe; Reinforce the safety rules; and Suggest your child follow his/her instincts.

The Super Ten, Play-It-Safe Rules for Kids and Grownups!
  1. I AM THE BOSS OF MY BODY! My body belongs to me!
  2. Say No, Get Away and Tell Someone if anyone makes you feel strange or uncomfortable.
  3. Safe Grownups Don’t Ask Kids for Help!! (They go to other grownups if they need assistance).
  4. I never go ANYWHERE or take ANYTHING from someone I don’t know.
  5. I must “CHECK FIRST” with my safe-smarts grownup for permission: before I go anywhere, change my plans, or get into a car even if it’s with someone I know. If I can’t check first, then the answer is NO!
  6. Everybody’s bathing suit areas are PRIVATE.
  7. I don’t have to be POLITE, if someone makes me feel scared or uncomfortable. It’s okay to say NO… even to a grownup, if I have to.
  8. I don’t keep SECRETS… especially if they make me feel scared or uneasy. (No adult should tell a child to keep a secret).
  9. If I ever get LOST in a public place, I can FREEZE & YELL or go to a Mom with Kids and ask for help.
  10. I will always pay attention to my Special Inner Voice, especially if I get an “uh-oh” feeling.

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